10 Habits of Successful Women… Now that I have your attention, let’s chat. I spend a good chunk of time looking through the internet, whether that is Pinterest, Facebook, or blog sites. Recently I had a pin catch my eye with a title similar to this one. What caught my eye is probably not what you expect.
Before I go further, I want to say that I don’t have any problem with other bloggers or what they choose to write about. There are many, many blogs that discuss this content. “Habits of Successful Women”, “The Successful Woman’s Morning Routine”, “Tips and Tricks from Successful Women”. There are so many blogs and articles of this type because people are reading them.
I like habits and routines just as much as the next person, but what delegates a “successful woman”? That is what caught my attention. People, specifically women, are looking for advice from this “successful” entity that doesn’t even have a name, and they are looking for it because they feel that they, themselves are not successful. I’m here to call bullshit.
You may wonder why this has me a little fired up. So, I will say it plainly. It hurts my heart to constantly see the rhetoric of not being good enough. When we look up articles of this nature, we are telling ourselves that we have not succeeded, but what does that even mean? I love definitions so let me pop in here what a quick Google search tells me.
The accomplishment of an aim or purpose
2. The attainment of popularity or profit
3. A person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity
If we are basing our opinion of success off of the first definition, I can stand behind that. Goal setting is incredibly beneficial and helps all of us move forward. The first definition also tells us that we are all successful. There is not a single person out there that can tell me that they have never met a goal. If you are wracking your mind trying to figure out what that is, give me a call, I will help you see all of your successes.
On the same Google search, it listed “successful” people; Oprah, Warren Buffet, Michael Phelps. I mean who doesn’t want to be Oprah? They have met goals and attained popularity and profit, but they are also people like you and me! They worked hard and they got what they wanted. I admire that. They potentially have a ton of great advice for us to keep moving forward one day at a time, but we aren’t them. Just like you aren’t me. And there is nothing that says the next-door neighbor doesn’t have equally good advice and success. On top of everything, they often offer habits and tips that are just not feasible for everybody and have the potential to put more on your plate. This opens up doors for more stress and more opportunity for negative self-talk when you don’t follow through. We just don’t need any more of that! So, here is the point of view that I have to offer for the tips that typically show up on these lists.
Work When it is Best for You
The tip I see time and time again is “Rise before the sun”, “Get work done before the family is awake”, “Be a morning person”. Girl, I don’t know about you, but I am not a morning person. Mornings are just not my jam. I tried this for about a month and I must admit that my results were more negative than positive. I found when I didn’t wake early, I just felt bad about it. I felt like I woke up feeling behind all because the sun was up before I was. Then when I did wake up early by the time I hit the afternoon or evening I was beat. Which is not a problem if mornings are your productive and creative time, but we are all different. I have more creative juju and energy in the evenings than I do in the mornings. So by waking up early I was actually putting myself in a productivity deficit.
My tip for you is to spend some time figuring out when you are most productive. If that is the morning this little section is not for you, waking early is your thing and you keep on keeping on my friend. If you fall into the afternoon, evening, night productivity schedule make time there. That may mean that you stay up until 2, 3, 4 a.m. If that is the case you cannot wake up by 6, don’t do that to yourself. “Oh, I will just sleep earlier then.” Seems logical, but now you are sleeping during your juju time and it’s just not worth it. So, find that magical time and try to fit in some work there. Success is not only created in the morning. It is silly to think it is.
There are Only so Many Hours in a Day
Oh, how I wish that time was infinite, but it’s not. If you haven’t heard this yet, there are only 24 hours in a day. Meaning that you probably can’t fit in a 2 hour yoga/meditation practice, work for 8 hours, work on the side hustle for another 3, spend 2 hours on your morning routine, take a 30 minute walk, read for an hour, clean your house for 30 minutes, and get at least 8 hours of sleep a night… every single day. This doesn’t even include meals, family, or social obligations. It is common for “successful tips” to add things to the daily routine; exercise, learning, self-care, cooking, socialization, cleaning. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in all of these things and find them all to be very important and valuable. But Mama, you can’t do it all, all the time.
My tip for you is to acknowledge that you can’t do it all. Stop feeling bad about not hitting the yoga mat one day because it just wasn’t your day. Yes, a yoga teacher told you it’s okay to listen to what you need, and some days that’s not yoga. This is not me saying not to do anything, this is me saying be more kind to yourself when you don’t tick all the checkmarks. Instead of shooting for everyday habits, stretch them into weekly habits. Give yourself some time to accomplish the ever-growing list. Self-care, exercise, meditation, and clean eating are all important, but if you are doing them without your full attention or beating yourself up for not doing them, they can become toxic and harmful. Be kind. Do what you can. Try again tomorrow. Instead of stressing through all the you need to do in one day, enjoy it and accept what doesn’t happen. This will get you further in the long run.
If you take nothing else away from this, be sure to take this. There is no one definition of success. Yes, I did throw one in here at the beginning, but that means nothing. You determine what you find successful. Success to me is waking up when I am rested, having a flexible schedule, and having the ability to share what I love with those around me. You may define success as having a management role in your business, baking the “perfect” apple pie, getting to tuck your kids into bed every night, writing a book, learning to surf. Whatever it is, if you feel as though you have succeeded, who is to tell you otherwise. So, redefine what success means to you, and accept that other people’s definition may be different. It will not only help you feel better about yourself, but also help to see other people in a different light. After you have that figured out, by golly celebrate it! You are a beautiful soul doing the best you can and that is worth celebrating!
Ultimately, I ask you to take advice with a grain of salt. These tips, tricks, habits, and advice may help you. They also may hinder you, so keep your eyes out for that. You are already a successful, powerful being and you don’t need to look for that validation from others. It’s okay to try new routines and habits to switch things up a bit, but once they begin to turn on that personal bully, let them go. I will say it again. You are already a successful and powerful being. So, celebrate all of the successes big and small. You already make a difference!